i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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