We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
