I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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