she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
