he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
