we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
one two three fourrrrnication!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
