why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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