I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
