that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
