So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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