You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
