Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
