a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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