so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
