Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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