That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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