bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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