Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
