dude i'm inner monologue high
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
