Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
