the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
