I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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