Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
