I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
