walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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