guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
