ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
