omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize