he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
