So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
time to smoke my breakfast
No subtext here. People are naked.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
