I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
