I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
