you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
