Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
