I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
