I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
