You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
