Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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