I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
