did you get engaged???
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
why is half of my head shaved?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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