Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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