i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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