Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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