Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
4 words: hood of his car
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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