Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
