I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize