my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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