He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
