You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
