just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
