I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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