Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
