I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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