after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
