she smelled like a LAN party
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So squirting runs in the family.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
