first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will pee on everything he values.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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