batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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