best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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