so that wasnt chicken after all
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
