The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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