take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
